Not today, imposter. Not today.

I thought my imposter would win.

From the beginning, on the outside, I was mad skilled at hiding that.

I didn't think I'd be able to make a living doing work I actually cared about. I didn't think community would support me. I never quit trying to make my lil ol’ daydreams legit, though I really wanted to.

There was always this little anxious and angry voice in my head asking:

"Well, so what? Who cares?"

Every acknowledgment of my effort. Every accomplishment. Every idea. The voice would be like,

"Who do you think you is!? Stop while you’re ahead!"

***

In college, I joined a learning community full of future PhDs. One year, we learned Metta meditation.

During my first try, I panicked and left class.

Sitting quietly with my own thoughts felt like being trapped in a room with an angry teacher.

The more I practiced, the more fascinated I became with… the voice. I started giving it shape.

I imagined myself as a mountain and my imposter wandering a trail toward a cave somewhere on its side.

Eventually, I could see them clearly…

I even gave the imposter a name in a poem: Gloria (which, hilariously, is the name my mother wanted to give me before deciding the vibes were off) who uses she/her pronouns.

For years, Gloria thought she was in charge… nah. I started experimenting in meditation more...

I imagined Gloria tied to a chair (she consented, ok?). I imagined Gloria forming a mythos about me in a cave while I was out in the world living my life.

I imagined Gloria watching while I became softer, more grounded, more me.

Most importantly, I learned something that changed my perspective:

Gloria didn't need to disappear… SHE just needed to stop trying to drive!

This was a way back to a version of myself that was learning to be actualized. Crystalline, feel me?

This was a version of me that could look Gloria dead in the eye and say:

"Thank you for your concern. Respectfully, shieeeuuuut up!"

Now, that’s the work I do in coaching. I’m not tryna make you new-new. I’m tryna make you, you.

Folks who both wear many hats and struggle to keep them on because the little gremlin in your brain is pushing them off, I got you.

People who were mad confident as a kid until something, or someone, made you feel smaller than ever, I got you.

All y’all who just need a little extra motivation—the counterpart to your inner curmudgeon—I can be the fairy G-muvva, partnering with you and ancestors’ wildest dreams.

I want to help you identify the voice that's been convincing you that you ain’t enough: your imposter won’t win!

I’ll help you take the keys back. Swerve on ‘em.